I'm alive! Sorry, that was a bit dramatic...
I’m sorry it has been a month since my last blog, but it
feels so good to be sitting here writing again. A lot has happened since I last
wrote, and we’ve been quite busy over here in England. The team went to Albania
and Italy for nearly two weeks for two different conferences. It was great to
serve people all over Europe at both of the conferences and to see all sorts of
people from different places coming together in unity. It truly was beautiful.
It may have been stressful at times, but it was worth it.
It was also super neat to see some of our partners I’ve
already met and catch up with them. It’s fun to think that I know people from
different parts of Europe now, whereas before I came here, I’ll be honest and
say the majority of people I knew came from Indiana, which isn’t a bad thing,
but how cool is it to know people from all over? And to have the opportunity to
build relationship with them and serve them and give them resources to help
them reach their communities truly is a blessing.
In Albania our hotel was right by the Adriatic seaside. It
was absolutely beautiful. Every night we fell asleep to the sound of the waves
hitting the shore, and we had so much fun hanging out on the beach. I’ll never
forget our last night and morning there. During our last evening, we sat on the
shore and watched the sunset and we took a lot of pictures and enjoyed each
other’s company. Before our flight left on our last day, the team and I hung
out on the beach. I’ve never spent that much time on the beach because I’ve
never really been, so it was a lot of fun to experience it. I still prefer the
lake though. Sand gets everywhere.
Italy was beautiful. Sam, Krista, and I got to spend a day
in Rome. Sadly Darbi wasn’t feeling well and wasn’t able to join us. It was
crazy to think I was in Rome though. I mean, that’s somewhere people usually
just dream about going. But no, I was there. I saw the coliseum. I even went
inside it. We went to the prison Paul was supposedly in when he wrote 2
Timothy, and we went in the Pantheon and the Vatican and we ate gelato twice
and just had so much fun. It’s honestly still hard to believe I was there.
In short, my job is pretty awesome. I get to travel and meet
other believers around the world and serve them. I love when we come together
as one in unity. We’re not Baptists or Pentecostals or Catholics or
Presbyterians, but we’re all disciples of Christ.
But I’m writing to share with you something that has really
helped me, especially recently.
Christine Caine is one of my favorite speakers. I think we
all have those people that can really speak life into us and challenge us, and
Christine Caine is one of mine. I bought her daily devotional before I left the
States, and it has been such a blessing to me. If you haven’t read her book Undaunted, I really recommend it, and
the devotional as well.
Anyway, I don’t know about you, but I’m the first person to
be hard on myself. And it’s not because I’m not confident or I don’t think I
can do well, but it is because I expect a lot of myself. I expect myself to do
well and to try and go above and beyond what is expected if possible. So if I
don’t feel like I’m living up to that, I beat myself up.
No, it’s not a bad thing to want to do the best you can, but
it can be detrimental to constantly be pushing yourself too hard instead of
taking a deep breath and trying again or trying a different approach. Stress
doesn’t help anything; it only makes you frantic.
Since I’ve been a part of the CreativeLab, a lot of tasks
have been thrown my way. I’ve created a handful of flyers, conducted research
and presentations, created slideshow transitions and ran the projector for one
of our conferences, and I’m currently hard at work in putting our website
together, and so on. Really, I do whatever comes my way. I’m even being trained
to do a little videography.
While I absolutely love learning and stretching my abilities
and challenging myself, sometimes I just don’t feel qualified for the task I’m
given. I’ve never created a website. I’ve never run a projector, and the only
presentations I’ve done were for a grade. At times it can be stressful and
while I’m up for the challenge, I sometimes feel pressure because I don’t know
if it will turn out as good as I want it to because I lack the experience I
think I need. Pay attention to the word think
there.
Take a look at this portion of scripture:
For context, remember that God just asked Moses to go to
Pharaoh and demand him to free the Israelites.
“Moses said to the Lord, ‘Pardon your servant, Lord, I have
never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your
servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.’ The Lord said to him, ‘Who gave human
beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes
them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach
you what to say.’” Exodus 4:10-12
Moses didn’t feel qualified for the task God gave him. And
what did God do? He basically told Moses he had no right to tell Him about who
Moses was. And even though Moses believed he wasn’t eloquent and couldn’t speak
well, God told him he would teach him and help him through it. As Christine
Caine says,
“God doesn’t call the qualified. He qualifies the called.”
No matter what God has asked you or I to do, no matter how
unqualified we feel, we are always qualified because God says so. Maybe I’m not
an expert at public speaking or creating websites or videography, but God knows
how my mind works. He knows that I like to create, and I have an eye for
design. He knows despite the fact that I don’t necessarily enjoy speaking in
front of people at first sometimes that I enjoy it after the fact and get a
high off of it.
Five years ago, even two years ago, I would’ve thought you
were crazy if you told me I’d be planning on going back to school to get a
masters in English so I could teach creative writing and literature. I probably
would’ve laughed at you. And even now, I wonder about the details and I wonder
if I can even teach. But I’ve seen glimpses. In Italy, the CreativeLab did two
different presentations on the MyStory program: one on KnowMyStory as a whole,
and the other on a new app that is in development. Our Director, Darbi, gave
the reigns to me on the app presentation because I created the Prezi (it’s like
a fancy PowerPoint for those who don’t know), and she believed I could do it on
my own. It felt a little nerve racking at first, but I actually enjoyed it.
In life there will always be moments where we feel like we
don’t have the skills to do something. Instead of dwelling there and letting
our thoughts and emotions guide us, we need to remember that God will help us
because he qualifies us. And every time something new comes our way, we should
embrace it because it is an opportunity to learn and grow.
I absolutely love learning, and I think I’ve only within the
past year realized this about myself, but I really do. I love random facts and
bits of knowledge. Expanding my knowledge and skill set is fun and enjoyable
for me, but I have to work hard to keep it that way. It can be easy to be like
Moses and say meekly, “Pardon me, Lord…” However, let’s rip those buts and ifs from our vocabularies because every new challenge and is an
opportunity to gain a new skill or learn something new, and we just never know
when that skill or knowledge could come in handy down the road.
I hope this encourages you as it has encouraged me. Every
morning I try to spend time with God and ask him to help me through anything
that comes my way, and I truly notice a difference in my day when I make that
declaration. So go and make yours. Go tackle that mountain in front of you. Go
build, write, create, teach, and learn. Know that you’ll never be alone in it.
God is always there waiting for you to ask for his help and guidance, and he is
so sweet to give it.
